A living House

I think the word “painful” could so appropriately be added to messy and mysterious to describe the process of transformation. The pangs of being renewed, reshaped, transformed, reborn- whatever language we use to describe our sanctification- can strike so hard and hurt so deeply in those mysterious and messy moments in which God is really at work inside of us- in our minds, in our hearts- in our souls.
Sometimes the pain is quite literal, quite physical. I remember one particular night over the summer, I felt so strongly convicted in so many areas of my life that needed to change, the pain inside my heart became overwhelming. I prayed. I was pacing my studio in the dark, in this state of confusion soon after, feeling so many things inside going on at once, it seemed like absolute chaos within. I thought to myself, that these moments of chaos were supposed to have passed, and accepting Christ was supposed to lead to some greener pasture, some place more peaceful than this. In that moment I had this image of a house being gutted. The outside was in tact, but inside I saw walls being knocked down, rooms being stripped bare, old furniture being carried out, dust everywhere. In some areas it seemed there was nothing left but the foundation. I then realized what God was doing.
Some weeks later I came across a C.S. Lewis quote and was completely taken aback. It was a parable he had borrowed in one his books from George MacDonald. Apparently they had seen it too, maybe on some night like the one I had- and the many I have had since - what God’s messy, mysterious process of transformation looks like…
“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of- throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

Chris Durso